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Thursday, August 31, 2006
Sir may I have another
So it's been a busy week. In the excitement I forgot to tell ya'll that I am officially the Queen of getting rear ended. Hee. Isn't that funny? Seriously. My poor car has been rear ended 4 times in the last 5 years. Ya'll. It's bright red. Not gray, not black but a vr vr highly visible bright, shiny, metallic red. Twice I have been in the car, twice not even near the car when it was hit. It's a LARGER, energy hogging, gas inefficient, non-PC, soccer-loving, Keeping up the the Jones' circa 2000, Mom-friendly, SUV.

This last time I was hit was by an 80-year-old woman who got the brake and gas pedals confused. Flash forward to being at an intersection- my husband behind me in his car and BAM. We're hit. I look behind me and nobody is doing anything. Just looking straight ahead. I jump out of the car and start yelling, WHAT THE HELL?! You see, I'm waiting for the left green arrow. Behind me, my husband. Sitting. Behind him other people simply looking forward. Yeah. WHAT THE HELL?! Just how many times can I get rear ended? (hee.) My husband rolls down his window and informs me that the lady behind him hit us and to CALM DOWN. Zoom in center stage and a very old woman is looking straight ahead with a grin on her face.

Okay.

Calmly I get back in my vehicle and take the long awaited left turn. Husband follows in his vehicle. Old woman follows in her vehicle. My husband is relatively sure that I'm going to start beating people up (because I'm yelling WHAT THE HELL?!) And is repeatedly telling me to calm down. I'm rolling my eyes at him. I am simply in shock that I have been REAR ENDED YET ONCE AGAIN. (hee.) But, once I catch glimpse of how shaken said old woman is, I switch immediately to caretaker mode. Ya'll when she stepped out of her mangled car, she was SPARKLY. I thought, DEAR LORD, she's covered in GLASS. Turns out it was just a metallic jean jacket.

When all was said and done, her car suffered the most damage. Her front bumper completely engulfed around my husband's trailer hitch. In return, his front bumper smashed, and my rear bumper was buckled and scraped. Folks remember. Gas on right. Brake on left. Look behind you when you back up. You never know. My car might be in the vicinity waiting, begging to be hit. Again. Beware. Be vr vr aware.

And just a little ditty unrelated to being rear ended (hee. Or does it?) that makes me chuckle and ponder WTF . . .

My husband went fishing for a week with 9 other manly men. After the week is up, they split up all the remaining manly-men camping supplies after a week of whiskey, cigarettes, campfires, poker, and fish. My manly man came home with his share of stuff . . . One of which included a half eaten petite jar of Maraschino cherries. Hee. Maraschino cherries? For their cosmopolitan cocktails while primped for all night poker? For stem-tying competitions with their tongues? For their ice cream sundaes? What the hell?!
2 Comments:

"Thank you sir, may I have another"

I love that movie :o) (...and sorry about your car woes. Perhaps if you painted a target on the back, the little old ladies might have poor aim and miss you?)

Andrew
To Love, Honor and Dismay

9:33 AM  

How stressful! I am not so good with back-ends either. I tend to back into things a lot. My depth perception isnt very good plus, I am short! Anyway, sorry to hear about this accidents really stress me out. Hoping for an accident free year for you, starting now ;-)

1:51 PM  

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